What to do if your child is missing.

Remember to breath. It helps clear your head and your child needs you.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!! ...This is very important...
You are the vital link to your child. You are the one who can motivate others to look for your child. You must take care of yourself so you can have the strength to search for your child. Please... eat well, sleep, keep in contact with family and friends, find a way to relax and exercise. Don't feel guilty about doing any of these things. You need to hold on to your sanity and stay healthy and strong for the day your child returns home.

"All of us, at certain moments of our lives, need to take advice and to receive help from other people."
Alexis Carrel

GET HELP FROM FRIENDS, FAMILY and TEAM HOPE
People want to help but they often don't know what to do. Give them tasks – don’t wait for them to ask. They can help with phone calls, completing forms, mailing flyers, reaching out to the media, making certain you take care of yourself, etc. Contact Team HOPE for emotional support, empowerment, resources and assistance.

Last but not least, remain calm and avoid negative people.

These pages are filled with many suggestions for the search for your child; since each abduction is different, some of the information may not apply to your situation. Use whatever you can and please call us for further assistance—we are here to help!!
Get help from a Team HOPE volunteer. Call us toll free at 1-866-305-HOPE.

Main source of information: Jacob Wetterling Foundation.

*If you suspect your child is missing, call the police (911).

*Close off the child’s room. Do not wash his/her clothes. Put his/her comb or hairbrush in a brown paper bag. Do not clean the child’s room. Do not remove bedding/sheets.

*Find pictures of your child. Keep track of the original photographs of your child and the abductor (if available). Put them in a safe easily accessible place in your home. Have at least twenty (20) copies made of each pose. If you do not have the negatives, copies can be made from the photographs in your possession.

Have the photographs scanned for use on the computer

Immediately make twenty (20) copies of any videotapes of your child.

*Seek out a Team HOPE volunteer, close friend and family counselor. Talking can be the best remedy for frustration. Rely upon these people throughout your ordeal to share your thoughts and concerns. Your other children will need counseling as well to help them cope and sort out their feelings and fears.

*Get friends and relatives to be with your other children during this crisis. Be sure to reassure your other children that what happened to the one child will probably not happen to them. Security and safety are needed for your children at this time.

*Maintain a positive attitude. The best piece of advice that we offer is to maintain a positive attitude. Remember that your child is depending upon you and you must focus on what you are doing at all times.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

INTERACTION WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT

*Work as a team. Try to establish a teamwork approach with law enforcement. They need you as part of the team. Cooperation with them is essential.

*Investigation of the family. You should be aware that law enforcement needs to investigate the family since approximately eight-five percent (85%) of abductions are by family members or someone known to the family. You can also expect law enforcement to ask some hard and difficult questions. DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY.
Remember; keep focused on your goal of getting your child back.

*Law enforcement contact person. Establish or have law enforcement establish a contact person (one person) within your local law enforcement agency so you are consistently and accurately informed of on-going developments in your case.

*Ask for more help. Ask the FBI and/or your state crime bureau to assist in the investigation. Call the Governor of your State if need be to ask him/her for a show of support for your cause. Your Governor could also call in the National Guard to conduct a ground search.

*Call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
1-800-THE LOST.

DEALING WITH NEWS MEDIA

*Contact all local media. Police may have to initiate the request, but you or your spokesperson will be responsible for maintaining contact and keeping attention focused on the abduction story. Set up a phone listing of these local media sources so that they are readily accessible to you. The Jacob Wetterling Foundation has listings of news, magazines and talk shows.

* Website links to media.

http://www.newsdirectory.com/tv/networks/
listing of all TV networks

http://www.newsdirectory.com/news/press/na/us/
Newspaper listings by State; broken down by either city or area code

http://www.usnpl.com/
US Newspaper Links

*Develop a press kit. Write out the information (circumstances surrounding the abduction and description of your child) you want disclosed. Verify the information with law enforcement and make enough copies for the media. Often times this is called a “Media Kit.” Be certain that your child’s photo is included. A local media person may be helpful in pulling this together.

*News Media. Consider holding a news conference every day to get the story out. Be aware of reporters’ deadlines to get the story aired the same day. Be certain to have enough pictures of your child for the media to show to the public.

*Stick to the facts. Keep the reporters to the facts. Don’t be swayed by leading questions. Disregard their speculation or unfounded rumors. You will carry more credibility if you simply stick to the facts. Focus on the family, your child, the volunteer effort and the emotional issues involved. Report to reporters’ superiors if they are not reporting accurately. Being open to the media is a big part of getting “everyone else” to know about your child. STAY POSITIVE.

VICTIMS’ RIGHTS WHEN DEALING WITH THE MEDIA
(Provided by the National Victim Center)

Victims have the right to:

• Say “no” to an interview.
  Never feel that because you have unwillingly been involved in an incident of public interest that you must share the details and/or your feelings with the public. If you decide that you want the public to be aware of how traumatic and unfair your victimization was, you do not automatically have to give up your right to privacy. By knowing and requesting respect for your rights, you can be heard yet not violated.
• Select the spokesperson or advocate of your choice.
  Selecting one spokesperson eliminates confusion and contradictory statements. You have the right to expect the media to respect your selection of a spokesperson or advocate.
• Select the time and location for media interviews.
  Nobody should be subjected to a reporter arriving unannounced at the home of a victim. When you are traumatized, your home becomes your refuge. If you wish to protect the privacy of your home, select another location, such as your police station, a church, meeting hall, office setting, etc. For meeting with the press, remember -- it helps to be familiar and comfortable with your surroundings. It also helps if law enforcement is present. The media is governed by deadlines, so press conferences held late morning gives them the time to prepare your story.
• Request a specific reporter.
  Many people identify with or respect a reporter whom they have never met. We often form personal opinions about reporters whom we feel are thorough, sensitive, compassionate and objective. If a newspaper, radio station or television station contacts you for an interview, don’t hesitate to request the reporter whom you feel will provide accurate and fair coverage of your story.
• Refuse an interview with a specific reporter even though you have granted interviews to other reporters.
  You may feel that certain reporters are insensitive, uncaring or judgmental. It is your right to avoid these journalists. However, recognize that the reporter may write the story regardless of your refusal to participate or offer quotes.
• Release a written statement through a spokesperson instead of an interview.
  There may be times when you are emotionally incapable of speaking with the media, but you still wish to express your point of view. Writing and distributing a personal statement through a spokesperson allows you to express your views without granting an in-person interview.
• Exclude children from interviews.
  Children already suffering from the trauma of crimes are often retraumatized by exposure to the media. Children often lack the means to verbalize their emotions and may be misinterpreted by both the media and the public.
• Refrain from answering any questions with which you are uncomfortable or feel are inappropriate.
  You should never feel you have to answer a question just because it is asked.
• Know in advance the direction the story is going to take.
  You have the right to know what questions reporters will ask you, along with the right to veto any questions. This places you in partnership with the person covering the story. Be aware that many reporters will give you an idea of what he/she will ask you and then throw some curves during the interview.
• Avoid a press conference atmosphere and speak to only one reporter at a time.
  At a time when you are in a state of shock, a press conference atmosphere with many reporters can be confusing and emotionally draining. If a press conference is absolutely unavoidable, you have the right to select one reporter to ask questions for the majority present.
• Demand a correction when inaccurate information is reported.
  All news media have methods of correcting inaccurate reporting or errors in stories. Use these means to correct any aspect of media coverage that you feel is inaccurate.
• Ask that offensive photographs or visuals be omitted from broadcast or publication.
  If you feel that graphic photographs or visuals are not the best representation of you or your loved ones, you have the right to ask that they not be used.
• Conduct a television interview using a silhouette or a newspaper interview without having a photograph taken.
  There are many ways for media professionals to project your physical image without using your photograph or film footage of you thereby protecting your identity.
• Completely give your side of the story related to your victimization.
  If you feel that a reporter is not asking questions that need to be addressed, you have the right to give a personal statement to augment that interview. And if the alleged or convicted offender grants interviews that are inaccurate, you have the right to publicly express your point of view.
• Refrain from answering reporters’ questions during trial.
  If there is any chance of jeopardizing your case by interacting with the media during judicial proceedings, you have the right to remain silent.
• File a formal complaint against a journalist.
  A reporter’s superior would appreciate knowing if an employee’s behavior is unethical, inappropriate or abusive.
• Grieve in private.
  Grief is a highly personal experience. If you do not wish to share it publicly, you have the right to ask reporters to remove themselves during times of grief.

* Crime Victim Services—National and State
The National Victim Center assists victims of crime by educating them about how the criminal justice system works, and providing information about grief and the healing process. They also have information on Crime Victim Services available in each state. Tel: 703-276-2880

*Start a phone log.
Use something as simple as a spiral notebook to record incoming calls. Write down the name of the caller, the date, the name of the caller’s agency, their phone number and briefly (one short sentence) what the call was about.

*Caller I.D.
Get Caller I. D. on your phone immediately to identify callers, this is especially useful for unusual or anonymous callers.

*Make lists of relatives, friends of the family, friends of the child, and any people who have been in your home recently.

*List all people who routinely come by your home, school, or sight of abduction for services/deliveries, etc.

• electric meter readers
• gas company employees
• newspaper carriers
• lawn service employees
• garbage collectors
• maintenance workers
• taxi drivers
• pizza deliveries
• postal carriers (UPS, Federal Express)
• sales people
• anyone coming to ask for donations
• repairmen

*List any walkers, runners or bikers in the area who may have seen or heard something.

*Make note of any construction or remodeling in the area recently (road, building, and utility company projects).

*You may also have family, friends and strangers coming to your home to help in the search.
Videotape, if possible, people who come to your home. Record license plate numbers of people you don’t know well.

*Visitor Log.
Have people sign in when they arrive to volunteer or anyone who comes to your house. Have them write down his/her name, address and phone number.

*Local Newspapers.
Pick up local newspapers from the day before, the day of and the day after the abduction. They may provide clues about who and what was going on in your community at the time.

Organizing a Search

prepared by
The Laura Recovery Center Team, Friendswood, Texas
Conducting a Search for a Missing Child

The Laura Recovery Center (LRC) Manual describes how to conduct a massive, citizen directed effort to recover a missing child. It is expected that the recovery effort will be carried out in full cooperation with the presiding local law enforcement agency. It is recognized that each missing child incident will be different in scope and size and that not all of the material contained in this Manual will be applicable in all cases. The LRC has assumed that the resources described will be made available by the community. Ideally, pre-incident preparations will have been made. The LRC realize that this may not be the case in all circumstances. Nevertheless, the effort should be made with whatever resources are available. It is hoped that the experiences and guidelines the LRC share will prove useful in recovering your missing child.

AWARENESS EVENTS

Media attention will generate leads. Volunteers can organize many events that will keep the story in the hearts and minds of the public.

• Organize students who will distribute posters and flyers.
• Appearances on radio or television talk shows by parents (radio can be done in-studio by telephone, live or taped.)
• Radio stations all across the state can be asked to play your child’s favorite song or a song selected by parents, e.g., “Somewhere Out There” from “An American Tale” and have the song dedicated to the child.
• Hold a rally at the child’s school with music and prayers.
• Organize a benefit dance and/or auction.
• Contact area sports teams to include photos and story in their programs and possibly have a P.A. announcement made at games.
• Produce buttons or T-shirts with your child’s name.
• Dedication of a garden or a tree to the child.
• Hold a candlelight vigil indoors or outdoors.
• Bowling tournaments, marathons, etc. dedicated to your child.
• Contact banks or local businesses to dedicate a Christmas tree/lights to the child.
• Contact radio stations offering to do a telephone interview to remind people to keep watching and looking for the child.
• Have classmates do a letter writing campaign, writing to friends and families across the country telling about the missing child.
• Organize a human chain linking communities school to school, house to church, etc. Radio stations can help organize the crowd. Ask sports celebrities to participate.
• Public Service Announcements and appeals for help on radio and television.
• Mass release of helium filled balloons imprinted with child’s name, or with information about the missing child inside.

EVERY DAY IS A ROLLER COASTER
Each day is a struggle. A great deal of the time you won't get the cooperation you want. You will get frustrated because the search for your child doesn’t seem nearly as important to others as it is to you. Sightings and leads frequently prove to be dead ends. When you feel like you are at the end of your rope, step back, take a walk, reach out, call a friend or relative, refresh yourself, call to speak with a Team HOPE volunteer. Please remember – today you are one day closer to recovering your child.

We realize that this is very overwhelming for you. We know. We’ve gone through this agonizing process. Please call us toll free at 1-866-305-HOPE. You will be matched to a volunteer who will help you through this process and give you more suggestions on what to do when your child is missing.